Rumours
A CAPOW story compiled by
Danielle Delaney
The door to the Lurkers Retreat
slammed open and the patrons inside barely had time
to make out long intricately braided hair and soft
white wings before they settled back to their drinks.
It was, after all, only Kai.
"Jude? Jude? JUDE!!"
One dark eyebrow
arched and a slender hand waved to catch the
Seraphim's rather frantic attention. Jude, ex-biker
and now turned hacker-for-hire, brushed the wildly
curling auburn hair from her dark eyes and shrugged
at her companion who just shook his head and gave
her a cheeky grin before announcing:
"Check, and, I
believe, mate."
Jude scowled and then
growled as she studied the intricate version of
chess that Joseph had managed to talk her into
playing. [the Star trek version of Chess. For some
reason that just strikes me as Joseph's type of
game] She was a complete sucker for cute--although
if you announced it she would deny it with every
fiber of her being and then quietly dispose of your
body in some back alley--and Joseph had used all of
his cuteness and charm to talk her into what he had
called a 'simple board game.' Simple her ass!! She
kept forgetting that he was one of the writers for
the Guide and nothing was simple with
Joseph. Nothing. She raked a hand through her dark
curls and frowned in concentration, ignoring the
bouncing angelic presence just off her left elbow.
Joseph really did have her in a nasty spot, but she
knew there was a way out of it...
Kai twirled the end
of her braid in one hand and waited for Jude to pay
attention, and waited, and waited, and waited. She
huffed, nothing. She flicked her wings in
frustration, nada. Kai hated being ignored. Joseph
gave her another one of his eloquent shrugs and
grinned again. Kai could see why he was a writer
for the Guide. She lifted an eyebrow in a
silent question and plea, but Joseph just shook his
head.
"I think she really
is stuck, and I'm not going to help her out of it.
How else is she going to learn?"
Jude's reply to
Joseph's hypothetical question was a low growl. Kai
huffed again. She did not like being
ignored, especially for a board game, especially
when the next move was sooo obvious. Kai, unable to
stand being ignored any longer, reached out and
moved one piece, and then crossed her arms.
Joseph's mouth dropped and Jude performed a
flawless facepalm.
"Damn!! I should have
seen that one!"
"You always over
think your strategies," Kai admonished before her
voice fell into a plea, "Now will you listen to
me?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure,"
Jude agreed distractedly, "Oh, Joseph? I think it
is check and mate."
As pleased as if the
move had been her idea Jude stretched her arms over
her head and grinned at Joseph's muttering about
angelic intervention and cheating. Jude turned that
please smile to Kai and cocked her head as if to
say 'Well? Spit it out already.'
Kai mentally counted
to ten and reminded herself that she loved the
infuriating mortal, she really did love her. She
then announced very clearly in a nice carrying
voice:
"I heard that Dachend
and Katt are getting married."
The Retreat went
completely quiet. All the lurkers and the regulars
Stared in dumbfounded shock until there was a loud
banging sound. Jude had fallen over.
"Say WHAT!?!"
Joseph looked over
the table at the sprawled, prone Jude and burst out
laughing, before settling back to listen to the
entire story. He had a nagging feeling that there
was something going on.
Kai just nodded and
perched herself on the table next to the complex
chess game. She leaned over to look Jude straight
in the eye, her long braids swinging like
pendulums. She giggled at Jude's expression of
sheer shock.
"Yep, I was told that
he was spotted in a jewelry store looking at
rings...DIAMOND rings." Kai gave Jude a significant
look. The other one just shook her head, still flat
on her back.
"Uso, now way!" Jude
bounced up from the floor and grabbed Kai's hands,
"Who 'dya hear it from?"
Kai grinned, and with
a look of pure girlish glee whispered: "Falora."
Jude, still in shook,
started making her way to the door.
"Oi! Matte, Jude, Our
game! Come back so I can beat you!" Joseph
cried out as Jude pulled open the door to the
Retreat.
"Jude, wait, where
are you going? I'm not done yet..." Kai called.
Jude turned slightly
and stated, " I'm gonna find Dachend. Are you
kidding? This is the best time ever to give him
shit!" With a rakish, reckless grin Jude walked out
the door.
"WAIT!!!" Miyuki
shouted in frustration, "You haven't paid for your
drinks!!!" But Jude was already gone, "I never
win." Miyuki groaned.
Kai and Joseph looked
at each other and just grinned. Joseph looked at
his game and then turned mournful, pleading eyes to
Kai. The angel twitched, her wings flicked, she
tried to hold strong, but the awesome power of the
uber-kawaii won after all. The Seraphim sighed and
plopped into the chair recently vacated by Jude.
"So, Kai, you heard
this from Falora?" Joseph asked as he studied his
pieces. Victory, he believed, was at hand.
"Uh-huh, but she said
she heard it from someone else." Kai watched as
Joseph made his next move, and she frowned in
consternation as she realized how vulnerable she
had left her rook, but she could rescue her poor
forsaken piece, she just knew it.
"So, do you know who
told her?" Joseph casually asked. He was quite
confident in his last move.
Kai looked up briefly
from her consideration of her rook. She flipped one
bead-threaded braid over her shoulder and shook her
head. "Nope, I didn't remember the name. It wasn't
anyone I had ever met before."
Just as Kai was about
to make a move that would have devastated Joseph's
unprotected left flank the door of the Retreat
slammed open once again and a voice cried out:
"Minna!! You will
never believe what Jude just told me!!"
Miyuki looked up,
hoping it was Jude who had stormed back in so she
could pay for her drink. Instead, she found her
understudy, Chisa Biko, dressed in her usual
sundress, hair tied with a big colorful bow. "Let
me guess," Miyuki replied, "You heard Dachend's
getting married."
Chisa jump towards
the bar, literally. "How'd you guess! Did she tell
you guys, too? She was telling everyone on the
street! Practically every body! I mean, there I was
coming to the bar and she just jumps out of nowhere
and tells me! And I don't even know her!" She said
this all in one breath.
"Actually, it Jude
got it from her," Joseph mumbled into his hand
while pointing to Kai. His eyes were locked on the
board and deeply contemplating his next move.
Kai turned around to
see the newcomer. "Hi!" she waved. "I'm Kai."
"Chisa Biko", the bartender-in-training introduced
herself and offered a hand. "That's a cute outfit,"
Kai complimented.
Chisa's eyes
brightened. "You think so? I love this outfit! It's
my favorite. Everyone thinks I look like a little
kid in it but I don't pay them any attention." She
continued in that same breath but switched topics.
"Now, is it true Dachend's getting married?"
Kai nodded slowly.
"Uso! I can't believe
it! That psychotic maniac, never gives a damn about
anything, takes no crap from nobody, Mr. Tough-guy
Dachend is actually going to get married!" She
started giggling.
Kai couldn't help
grinning. "I think Jude had about the same
reaction."
"So you know that
girl?" Chisa asked. "She was practically telling
everyone she met on the street."
"Umm, yes you said
that before. And yes, I live with her," Kai
admitted. She regarded Chisa. She seemed like a
very nice person but she had never met someone with
such much perk. She returned her gaze to the table
where Joseph was waiting for her to make a move.
Kai's mouth almost dropped to the floor. She was in
trouble now. "Did you move my pieces around or
something?!"
The main doors
creaked open again. Miyuki peered across the bar to
see if it was Jude. Would she –never- get
paying customers in her bar, Miyuki wondered
helplessly. To her disappointment, it was not Jude.
It was Kimiko, carrying her laptop under her left
arm. She was looking to sit at her regular table,
order some green tea and work on whatever it was
she had on the precious computer. At least she paid
for her drinks.
Chisa waved to the
Chobetsu agent. "Konnichiwa, Kimiko-san! Did you
hear the news? It's the big question on everyone's
mind!" "Hmm.?" Kimiko interrupted with a raised
eyebrow, a pen in her mouth for some reason.
"Dachend’s is
getting married!"
That eyebrow raised a
little more. She opened her mouth and dropped the
pen in her hand. "Are you sure about that?"
"Haiiiii!" Chisa
nodded. "I heard it from Jude who heard it from ...
?" She looked to Kai's table.
"Kai," Joseph said,
head rested on his hands, watching the pieces.
"... from Kai."
"I heard it from
Falora," Kai mumbled, thinking of a way to not only
get out of the mess Joseph had caused, but to turn
the tables and go on the offense herself. Kimiko
shook her head. "Uh-uh, not what I heard. Lyta said
she saw Dachend this morning at the flower shop.
She said he was grumbling and cursing every five
seconds."
Chisa giggled. "Since
when doesn't he do that?"
"Uh, well, Lyta said
he looked extra testy this morning. If you ask me,
I think Dachend and Katt got into another fight and
he went to buy flowers to apologize."
Chisa scratched her
head and walked over to Kai's table. "Hey, how did
you know Dachend was getting married?" She didn't
get a response right away, which only annoyed her
because that was how adults treated children,
sometimes, and she concluded Kai was treating her
like a kid. "Hey!" Kai shrugged, not looking at the
girl but not angry at being yelled at. "Didn't you
just hear what I said? I heard it from Falora. She
said she saw him looking for a diamond ring."
Kimiko tapped the pen
on her lip. "Another case of 'he said, she said',
huh?" The bar doors opened again and all eyes
turned to see who it was. Perhaps they could make
sense of what was going on with Dachend. (Miyuki
hoped it was Jude.)
The doors opened to
reveal a diminutive figure whose blond hair blew
out behind her in a dramatic fashion.
"JOSEPH!!" Anne, not
so much yelled, but said with such force that all
the lurkers between her and the object of her
irritation quickly scrambled out of her way. Joseph
looked up from the board where Kai had once again
put him on the defensive position.
"eh, Nani?"
"Joseph no BAKA!!!!"
And with that the highly irate female launched
Joseph once again into LEO.
Kai blinked as her
opponent went flying through the air--with good
speed she noted--and landed straight into the
bucket that Miyuki had set out with the intention
to clean the bar. The angel turned to regard the
blond and wondered briefly if she would ever be
able to achieve that type of aim.
Kai held up a sigh
that read "8.5"
Miyuki presented Anne
with a "8.0"
And Chisa
enthusiastically gave Anne an "8.9" for the
landing.
Anne blushed and
brushed back her hair muttering, "Well, really,
that wasn't one of my better malletings...."
The Seraphim sweat
dropped and asked quietly--for fear of getting
launched herself since she had yet to realize that
Anne only really launched Joseph--"Eto, Why did you
do that?”
The wielder of the
mallet blinked and asked "You mean that Joseph
isn't the one responsible for that ridiculous rumor
that Dachend and Katt are getting married?"
Kai shook her head
and started to wonder if she should be preparing
for a quick trip into LEO.
"Anou..." Chisa spoke
up "I hear from Jude that...." "And Jude heard from
Kai..." interjected a now dripping, glaring,
uber-kawaii Jo-chan.
"And I heard it from
Falora!!" Kai spoke up quickly in her own defense.
"That Dachend had
been looking at diamond rings.." Miyuki finished
with annoyance. No one seemed to be eager to pay
for their drinks.
"But Dachend had
actually been in the flower shop swearing
every five minutes." Kimiko stated in a tone that
said 'and that should settle everything'.
Anne blinked and
shook her head, "Well, -I- heard from
Washu-oneechan that Dachend was in trouble because
he hadn't asked Katt to marry him yet."
There was mass
sweatdroppage in the bar.
Which was interrupted by a cute
redhead sitting up and lifting the bucket off of her
head, "What'd you do that for?!"
Anne looked down, her
hands clasped behind her back in typical cute-girl
pose. "Um," she said sheepishly. "Sorry? I just
thought that..."
"I never
start rumors!" Jo-chan yelled, hauling herself
off of Miyuki's counter and onto the floor. "I just
take them and twist them and pass them along, just
like everyone else."
"I said I
was sorry!"
"Hmmph," grumbled
Jo-chan. She took her seat opposite Kai once again
and wrung out her wet red hair.
"Awww, isn't that
sweet?" said Kimiko with a smirk, stirring her tea.
The general opinion on the infamous couple was,
unsurprisingly, fairly uniform.
"Isn't what
sweet?"
"Oh, nothing... Just
young love sprouting from young hearts, that's
all." Chisa sighed as pink hearts replaced her
eyes.
"We're not
in love," said Jo-chan and Anne, in stereo.
"Suuure you're not,"
said Kai mischievously, unsurprised at the
proceedings. Jude-sama was right -- they
did look cute together. Even though one was a
girl at the moment.
Anne sighed in a tone
almost exactly unlike Chisa's as she sat down
parallel to the players in the chess game. "Who's
winning?"
"I am," said
Kai forcefully, demonstrating with an audible thump
as she brought her white queen down onto a
promising square. "Hah! Pinned. Looks like your
queen's in trouble, Jo-chan."
"Man..." The young
hitchhiker sighed and considered her options. Maybe
she could save her queen with a bishop to protect
the square...
"So, what's this
about Katt being mad at Dachend?" asked Kimiko,
lifting up her flowered cup and turning to the
blonde-haired girl.
"Oh, 'neechan said
that she saw Katt and Dachend yelling at each other
when she went to Katt's garage." Anne shrugged and
watched Jo-chan move a black knight to protect the
black queen and threaten the white one. "Something
about commitment."
"Well, that explains
why Dachend was at the flower shop." The Chobetsu
agent took a sip of green tea, savoring its warmth
and flavor, and placed the flowered cup on its
respective flowered saucer.
"Or the
jewelry store," added Chisa thoughtfully. There was
something she was supposed to remember, wasn't
there? Now, what was --
"Chisa?"
"Hmmm?" The young
bartender turned to see Miyuki looking at her and
tapping her watch. "Oh, right. Gomen, minna-san,"
said Chisa, turning to the stairs leading to the
second floor, "but I have to go change -- my shift
starts in a few minutes! Ja ne!"
"Ja ne, Chisa-chan!"
Chika called out, as Chisa ran up the stairs, her
ponytail of blue hair following shortly after, held
together by a red Hello Kitty ribbon.
"Ja ne..." called
Anne. She turned to the assembled group. "So, what
do you all think?"
"It sounds like Katt
got mad at Dachend for not even proposing yet, so
he's getting her flowers to apologize." Kimiko
shrugged wordlessly, and continued tapping on her
keyboard.
"Apologize? Dachend
has less tact than an invading army," said Jo-chan,
moving another piece. "I was surprised they got
together in the first place, considering that it's
like watching an elk fall in love with a lion."
Kai was technically a
seraph, although in Heaven they were starting to
downplay social rank so as to be more politically
correct. Still, she was one of the best.
She could beat this mere mortal... "Or he changed
his mind and bought her a ring to propose to her,"
said Kai, castling queenside.
"Maybe she pressured
him into proposing to her?" said Miyuki, buffing a
glass.
"Nah, she wouldn't do
anything like that --"
The doors of the
Retreat creaked open once again.
"Hey, everyone!" said
Yugo eagerly, as the doors closed behind him. This
was bound to be something no one had heard
before. "Guess what I just heard!"
Kai didn't look up
from the board. She knew exactly what the
unfamiliar voice was going to say. "You mean that
Dachend and Katt are getting married?" she said,
positioning her white queen once again onto her
square of choice. "Check."
"Right! And you know
what that means? There's gonna be a wedding, and
lots of people," Yugo exclaimed, speeding up his
speech to match his excitement, "and
half-of-them-are-gonnabewaitasecond..." The martial
artist looked puzzled. "How'd you guys know?"
The bar filled
suddenly with chatter once again...
"When did
you all see Katt at the jewelry store?"
..and became silent
just as quickly.
Just as the silence
was reaching its peak, the doors to the Retreat
were opened again and Junsui entered, cautiously
walking into the bar and nervously looking around
at everyone inside, wondering if he was the cause
of the silence.
He made his way to
the bar and sat down on the stool, looking toward
Chisa as he set a few yen on the counter. "V8,
please", he said, still eyeing the patrons. When
Miyuki slid the drink across to him, he asked her,
"What's this I hear about Dachend getting married?"
The bar exploded back
into noise once more.
"See, I told
you he's getting married!"
"Are you sure about
that?"
"If he knows
something about it, there must have been a public
announcement somewhere... Four moves until check,
Jo.."
"Why else would Katt
be at the Jewelry store getting a ring?"
Jun took a couple of
swallows of his drink and spun the stool around to
get a better look at what was going on. Confused,
he spun around and caught the bartender's
attention. "Pardon me, but who's Katt?"
Junsui had intended
the question for Miyuki, but Yugo volunteered to
answer his question before Miyuki could start her
sentence.
"Man, where have you
been?! You don't know Katt? She's only one of the
hottest babes in Capow --right next to my
Alzena-chan-- but then again, they both have their
own individual high points.." His eyes had that
faraway look as he gave a grin, (which was
lecherous, of course, but that goes without saying)
"She's, um... where was I?"
"Dachend. Marriage."
Junsui prompted, trying not to back away from the
near-palpable aura of Hentai that Yugo was
radiating.
"Oh yeah, he bought
her some flowers and a ring, to propose to her."
"O-kay..." Junsui
said. "Katt.. Pointy ears? Overalls?"
At Yugo's nods, he
continued, "Then why was she in the jewelry store?
She looked rather upset to me." He took another
sip. "Well, that and she seemed to be grilling the
owner for some reason.. But I did hear something
about a ring..."
He paused and looked
around. Everyone was looking at him, and he hadn't
noticed the entire bar go silent again, listening
to him recount what he had seen.
"What? Did I spill
something on me?" Junsui said, looking down at his
shirt.
The bar exploded into
noise once more
Chisa bounced back
and forth from table to table, trying to get as
much information as she could about the whole
Dachend-Katt affair. And what an affair it was. Was
Dachend going to propose to Katt? Was Katt upset
Dachend hadn't asked yet? What was really going on?
"Chisa!" Miyuki
scolded the bartender understudy. "You're supposed
to be minding the bar!"
"Hai, hai," Chisa
apologized with downcast eyes. She looked back to
the bar. It was so far away from everyone's table.
Then, she had an idea. She pulled out a notepad
from her flowery bar apron and approached some of
the patrons.
"None of this makes
any sense," someone said. "Doesn't anyone have some
more reliable information?"
"Yes, but
she said he was at the jewelers!"
"Could you guys pipe
down," Joseph muttered, trying to concentrate on
his chess game.
"You guys want any
drinks?" Chisa asked but was largely ignored. She
moved to another table and caught more snippets of
conversations but nobody wanted a drink or was
already served. Chisa was beginning to get annoyed.
"Doesn't anyone want a drink?"
Chisa stomped over to
the last table where Kimiko was sitting, busy
typing on her laptop. "Can I get you a drink?"
Chisa forced out her mouth nicely.
"Hmm?" Kimiko
responded, "I already have my tea."
"Tea, tea, tea!"
Chisa complained. "That's all you ever drink when
you come here! Don't you want a real drink?"
"What's wrong with
the tea?" Kimiko asked, her eyes still fixed to the
screen.
"This is a bar! You
order alcoholic drinks, not tea! I know!" She raced
back to the bar, grabbed half a dozen bottles and
began mixing them into a glass. "A little bit of
this.. some of that.. oops, not TOO much... umm.
Let's try adding this one... and some of this!
There!" She carried the cloudy liquid back to
Kimiko's table and thrust it under her nose.
"Sore!"
Kimiko's nose
scrunched and she pulled her chair away. "Yuck!
What is that stench?!"
"That's not a
stench!" Chisa yelled back, slightly hurt. Her
drinks deserved better respect. "It's my super-fast
cocktail mix! C'mon, drink it, Kimiko-san. Ne? Ne?
Ne? Ne? Ne? Ne?"
"What are you, 12
years old?!" Kimiko scolded her. "Go away! Take
your stew with you!"
"It's not a stew!"
protested Chisa. "It's my drink and you're going to
drink it if I have to ram it down your throat!!"
All calm reason having left her brain, she pulled
her arm back, readied her aim and fired the liquid
like a cannon ball right into Kimiko's mouth.
"Ack!" Kimiko yelped
as her chair tipped back and she fell onto the
floor. Chisa's drink fired into her mouth and down
her throat. Instantly, her face turned a bright red
and little vents of steam appeared beside her ears,
opening up fast. She struggled to get up, extremely
woozy. She waved a finger in the air to make her
point. "Dash.. dash pwetty awful shtuff..
Shisshaa...hic", and collapsed back to the floor.
Chisa blinked. She
looked down at Kimiko's unconscious body, the
alcohol just too much for her system. She crept
back to the bar and looked at the various bottles
that she had used to mix the drinks. They were all
the standard alcohol beverages. Except there was
one clear bottle with the label facing away from
her. She held the neck of the bottle by her fingers
and turned. The label said, "Apple cider vinegar".
Chisa sweat dropped, looked around and innocently
put the bottle under the bar counter.
Chisa sighed. Once
again, she was out of the loop and short one
customer. Well, one conscious customer. Kimiko
still had to pay for her drinks. Chisa wondered if
she could use this to her advantage.
"Hmm.. let's try a
bit of this .. and a bit of that.. and some more of
this... and.. oops, not that, hehe.. we don't want
THAT to happen again." Another perfectly cloudy
glass of unknown liquid. Chisa smiled, her best
work yet.
"What's that,
Kimiko-san?" Chisa cocked her ear towards the
unconscious agent. "You want another drink? Are you
sure, you look a little tipsy? You'll double-tip
me? Wai! How generous of you, Kimiko-san!" She
rushed over to Kimiko, squatted and opened her
closed mouth. "The little drinkee goes down the
hatch!"
Chisa leapfrogged
backwards and waited to see the results.
--- Belinda slipped
in unnoticed, since the uproar was still focused
towards Junsui. She smirked, noting the expression
on everyone's faces.
"They fell for it,
hook, line, and sinker!" she rubbed her hands
gleefully. "There's no lie as convincing as one
that mirrors the truth!"
With all of the
rumors buzzing around and feeding upon one another,
Belinda was racking up quite a profit selling
"real" information to those willing and able to
cough up the price. And Belinda had the scoop all
right--she even had the pictures to back it up. Of
course, since she wanted to make a real
killing, she released the news in small, tasty
tidbits garnished with some creative forgery that
made people hungry for more.
"Tendou Nabiki, eat
your heart out!" Belinda thought, remembering the
manga Elyssa had been so into that the girl was
once caught in class reading it.
That was when the
woman sprawled on the floor a few feet away leapt
up about five feet into the air, rushed about like
a headless chicken, and ran smack into her.
And then she threw up
all over Belinda's clothes. ***
Alzena entered the
bar from the stairway wearing a short tank top and
tight-fitting jeans, yawning and stretching lazily.
"What's all the ruckus?"
Yugo's eyes lit up.
"ALZENA-CHAN!"
Alzena calmly
sidestepped and "helped" continue Yugo's trajectory
into the bathroom.
*smack* *crunch*
There was a
collective wince.
Alzena dusted her
hands and redirected her attention to the crowded
bar. "I could hear you guys through the floor [1].
What's gotten everyone so excited?"
"Dachend and Katt are
getting married!" Anne shouted over the din as
everyone tried to get in a word.
"Dachend...?" Alzena
searched her memory, scratching the back of her
head, inadvertently showing quite a bit of skin in
the process [3]. Her eyes went wide. "THAT guy?"
"Uh-huh," nearly
everybody answered simultaneously, except for the
woman who looked like she was about to pass out,
and the girl that was now glowing a very scary
green color.
[1] Alzena DOES live on the
second floor of the Retreat, right? Right? ^^;[2]
[2] Even if she didn't before, she does now. :) [3]
Fanboys everywhere began suffering from intense
nosebleeds. :)
"Stay calm, stay
calm, stay calm..." Belinda repeated through
clenched teeth. It wasn't working very well,
especially not when the woman who ran into her
looked like she was about to empty the contents of
her stomach again.
"I guess I overdid
it, haha," the girl with the big red bow in her
hair laughed weakly, going up to the other woman.
"Kimiko-san, you okay?"
Kimiko groaned
something unintelligible and slumped to the floor
again.
That did it for
Belinda. Her mood was completely ruined, and she
was absolutely humiliated.
"Elyssa's behind this
some how," was the bizarre conclusion that her
whirling mind came to. "She's ALWAYS in my way!"
Belinda knew when to
cut her losses and retreat. Now was the moment. She
would have plenty of other opportunities to profit
from this little mess, but now she just wanted to
go home and take a shower.
A tight-lipped
Belinda turned around and marched out of the door
without so much as a sound, roughly shoving aside
the teenaged girl who tried to come in.
***
"Hey! That was rude!"
Falora exclaimed, but the other girl didn't seem to
notice. Seeing that everyone was staring at her,
Falora waved. "Hey, guys!" she went up to the bar
and ordered a chocolate shake. "You know what's
really weird?" she began, sitting on the tall
stool. "Everybody's talking about Dachend and Katt
getting married?"
Kai sweatdropped.
"What do you mean, 'really weird'? You're
the one who told me that Dachend was out buying
diamond rings."
Falora blinked. "No I
didn't."
Once again, silence
reigned.
"What did
you say, then?" Joseph asked, somehow not surprised
that once again Falora was at the center of an
escalating disaster.
Falora waited for the
shake to arrive and began peeling away at the
straw. "I just said that somebody saw Dachend at a
jewelry shop and that it would have been really
sweet if he was there buying a diamond ring for
Katt. But Kai had gotten so excited about the first
part that she just started running off and didn't
let me finish."
All eyes focused on
Kai.
"Um...oops?" the
angel offered sheepishly.
"It's a good thing we
got that cleared up, ne?" Falora hopped off her
stool, shake in hand, and went over to the
complicated board game between Joseph and Kai. "Oh,
wow, Joseph, you know how to play Federation
Chess?"
Joseph shrugged. "I
get along."
"HA!" Falora burst
out triumphantly, causing everyone to jump. "And he
said that it was too complicated for human logic! I
told him not to underestimate your mental
abilities!" she hugged Joseph tightly. "Thank you,
Joseph! You won me a whole week's supply of
chocolate ice cream from Oyuki-oneesan! [4]" she
danced around the bar, with Joseph still locked in
her vise-like grip. "Woo hoo!"
[4] That's Oyuki, the Ice
Princess of Neptune, from Urusei Yatsura.[5]
[5] She makes one mean chocolate
sundae.
Every one turned at
the door as it opened again. Miyuki hoped it was
Jude. In strode a tall lean man with short chopped
blond hair and distinctive black in black eyes.
Looked around with a bemused expression as utter
silence reigned over the bar as it registered to
people that it was one of the two objects of this
whole augment that had arrived.
"Miyuki, Jack D,
double!" snapped Dachend and strode up to the bar.
"okay what the hell is going on here. people have
been coming up all morning clapping my shoulder and
congratulating me and I don't have a clue the fuck
why!!"
The door came
slamming back open and this time Miyuki's heart
stopped a beat, her prayers were answered, it was
Jude. The auburn haired hacker stopped short as
soon as she saw Dachend. An evil grin spread over
her face and she waved a hundred dollar bill in
Miyuki's face.
"Miyuki! Drinks for
everyone on me! Dachend's gettin" married!"
Miyuki passed out.
there was a sharp
crack as the glass splintered between Dachend's
fingers, his hysteric coughing from the whiskey in
his windpipe was overruled from the tidal wave of
questions and congratulations from the crowd that
washed over him.
"congratulations" "so
when's the wedding?" "when did you propose to her?"
"will there be cake?" "was it a big ring?" "Is it
true that you and Katt getting married?" "when did
it happen" "congratulation you sour bastard!" "will
there be cake?" "YAY, free drinks!" "so where's the
honeymoon gonna be?" "congratulations man!"
"took'ya long enorgh!" "will there be CAKE?"
"who'll be the best man?" "where'll the wedding be
held?" "were the rings expensive?" "say speaking of
rings, where's yours?" "congrats dude. sad end to
bachelor life hm?!" "when did it happen?"
"will-there-be-CAKE!!!!" "congrats buddy, looking
forward to the bachelor party"
"SHUT - THEFUCK -
UP!!!!!!" roared Dachend swinging Dracho'xian above
his head, giving the closest people a hair cut. as
if by magic every single person, except Jude and
Dachend left the bar and returned to their seats
around the retreat faster than it took to tell.
from somewhere down in the back came a weak, but
never the less determined "cake!"
with a smirk Jude
looked at the visibly shaken monsterhunter as he
turned to Miyuki and said with a somewhat meek
voice "I need a drink... something strong, really
strong!"
Miyuki looked at him
"what would you like?"
Dachend instantly
regaining his usual unpleasant dilemma, leaned over
the bar and snarled "I don't give a shit, gi'me the
strongest you got, make it a double and don't worry
about it. I'm immortal. it'll only make me stronger
and meaner"
"then give him the
mother milk substitute" came a familiar, chipper
voice.
"Dracho'xian
sometimes I wish you had a physical body... so I
could beat the living crap out of you"
"that's very sweet
Dachend" answered Dracho'xian never missing a beat,
continuing as Miyuki donned a protective mask and
Kevlar gloves. "while being in danger of repeating
someone, I dare to ask when did this thing exactly
happen?" asked the sword mischievously.
"yeah mean bean, when
DID that happen" asked Jude, grinning from ear to
ear.
Dachend scowled
Jude's way so viciously, that the lurkers in that
direction pulled father back in the room or hid
under their tables. Jude just smiled sweetly and
repeated the question "so?"
Taking a somewhat
toxic looking brew from Miyuki, Dachend cleared his
throat. on the other side of the bar Miyuki put
away the reinforced steel flask she had taken out
of the lead, explosion safe cabinet under the bar.
The letters ‘99,99999% pure’ were
written in sharp red letters across the flask and
labels of black and yellow going across the bottom
and top of it.
"we're not getting
married, goddamn it!!" snarled Dachend
"hey!" yelled Kai
from her game with Josephine.
"it's a rumor someone
started and when I find out. that someone is going
to be in such agony that the word agony doesn't
even begin to describe what I'm going to put the
person in"
Jude cocked an
eyebrow "what's so bad, it's just a rumor you nut"
Dachend smirked
ruefully and downed his glass in own gulp, his eyes
bulged a second. Then he exhaled gently out. the
coating on the bar top began to bumble and curl
away. "damn it you brat, don't you get it. the
second Katt hears about this she'll--"
Suddenly there was a
jingle as the door to the retreat opened and a
familiar voice called "Dachend?" again there was a
sharp crack as another glass turned to power in
Dachend's hands "on no" whimpered Dachend. slowly
turning around, casting a furious look at Jude who
was waving her arms "over here Katt, he's over
here" running across the bar, the red haired elf
threw herself into her beloved’s arms "oh
belshansta I just heard, is it true. is it really
true?" she said looking up at him with big, loving
green eyes.
Jude thought it
looked like Dachend was about to cry for a second,
but then his face
curled into a forced smile "eeerhh?!" he said
intelligently. Dachend looked at his beloved
kitten, what was there to say, but "help"
----
one of the few real
drawbacks at being immortal, is that in situations
where you just want kill yourself you can't. a fact
Dachend lamented quite a bit at that particular
moment. someone had seen him buy a ring and jumped
to the conclusion, that him and Katt were getting
married. he loved the little elf, truly. but
marrying her! he had bought the ring on a impulse
and Dachend was wishing very hard that his
impulsiveness would die very, very horribly.
something like being stabbed to a chair and forced
to see teletubbies until the end of time.
"Oh Dachend, I'm so
happy. but why haven’t you told me" said
Katt. Looking with loving eyes at Dachend. Dachend
swallowed, hard. everyone in the bar was looking at
him, Katt in particular. how the hell was he going
to weasel his way out of this one. why couldn't it
just be a vampire cult, demon incursion or
corporation assassination or something else nice
and simple. "yeah, why didn't you tell her?" asked
Miyuki. Dachend took a deep breath as Katt looked
curiously at him. "well you see kitten, there's a
problem.."
"yes"
"he'll settle for no
less than 4 kids" said Dracho'xian smugly. Katt
turned beat red, while Dachend broke the arm of the
unfortunate Lurker who was going to nudge him in
the side. "shut up Drac, this is important!"
"yeah no wonder,
raising a big family is no small thing" chuckled
the sword.
Jude smiled "I really
can't image Dachend bouncing a little version of
himself on his knee"
Then she thought
about it for a moment and paled. "Oh, God I can."
She shivered. "That's scary."
"Ain´t it
though?" Dracho'xian agreed.
Dachend glared out
over the crowd "the first that as much as thinks of
fucking smiling or laughing is gonna be smiling
without teeth and laughing out through a hole in
his neck. COMPRENDE!?"
The Retreat grew very
quiet, except for a little "cake!" down in the back
*BAM*
"Thanks Anne" nodded
Dachend.
Anne putting her
mallet back into hammer space smiled "my pleasure"
"Okay and the next
that interrupts I'll bone like a fish" snarled
Dachend, eyeing everyone dangerously. "good, you
see Kitten, there's uhm.. been an
misunderstanding--"
Katt's big smile was
slowly starting to fade, Dachend continued "someone
has been spreading this rumor that we where getting
married"
Dachend's face
hardened "and we ain't"
A collected gasp went
through the Retreat "what?!" yelped Katt, her
shoulders sacking.
Dachend shrugged
"sorry to get your hopes up Kitten, but we can't
get married"
Katt's eyes started
to get misty. Jude and a couple of other patrons
where beginning to look for blunt objects to
flatten Dachend's forehead with.
"Why belshansta, why
not" asked Katt, staring hard into Dachend's black
eyes, his cold expressionless face.
Dachend shrugged
again, putting his hands into pockets "simple
enorgh Katt--" holding his breath, everyone in the
retreat thought the saw a ghost of nervousness,
maybe even fear flash over Dachend's face. but then
his facade was the usual cool one. "-cause I
haven't even proposed to'ya yet, you dummy"
Dropping to his right
knee, Dachend knelled before the stunned Katt.
taking her hand, he cleared his throat, taking a
second to scowl at Jude, who was standing with a
wide grin. then spoke, in a (for him) humble voice
"Kattarina Delshard--" from his pocket Dachend
withdrew a beautiful ring. a golden and a black
feline, twisting into each other forming the band.
their eyes small emeralds, between their out
stretched front paws a dazzling rainbow colored
diamond was held. "-- will you marry me?"
Katt trembled, how
she'd longed to hear those words, how she had told
herself again and again that she would never hear
them uttered, by the man she loved so. and here he
was, knelling before her, asking her. feeling her
knees giving in, Katt dropped to the floor in front
of Dachend. looked at him for a long moment. tears
in her happy eyes and then she flung her arms
around him and choked any protest or forthcoming
remark. in a deep, long kiss.
"hmmm correct me if
I'm wrong, but I think that's a yes" grinned
Dracho'xian almost hicking with joy for his
friends. Jude crossed her arms and smiled widely
"you know Drac, I think your right" after a thought
she added loud "drinks are on Dachend!!" The roof
of the retreat almost lifted under the outburst of
cheers and congratulations.
She grinned at the
monster hunter who gave her a look that was trying
to decide whether it wanted to be a smile or a
scowl. A look older brothers are familiar with.
Jude patted his arm. "You can thank me later."
Dachend made an
inarticulate sound that might have been a threat
but no one will ever know since Katt interrupted it
mid-rumble.
"Oh Jude!! I was
hoping you’d be one of my bridesmaids."
Gushed Katt
Jude started to turn
remarkably pale. Kai bounded over to confide and
plan with Katt. Kai lifted a lock of Katt´s
fiery red hair.
"You know, Katt, I
think I know a shade of pink that would go
remarkably well with your hair." Kai commented.
Jude continued to look paler and paler as the two
discussed bridesmaids gowns and flower
arrangements.
Dachend smiled evilly
at the hacker who was starting to look decidedly
fainted. "Pay back, kid, is a bitch."
Jude just nodded.
owari
