Battle Mode!
Or: When your characters take over
ICQ...
A
perfectly normal day at the Arisugawa Dojo. Birds
singing in the tree branches, the little river in the
garden gurgling along peacefully...
"HIYAAAA!!!"
"Shi~~~NE!!"
... and the obligatory
battle cries of the dojo´s two seitos, once
again engaging each other in a furious
life-and/or-death battle.
"Hah! What are you
trying to do? Bore me to death?" Yugo mocked, leaning
on his umbrella with that typical lobsided smile on
his face.
"Oh, I´m not
going to hurt you," Jay answered, getting up.
"I´m goint to KILL YOU!!!"
"Hooboy, I´m
_soooo_ scared! Li´l Alice´s angry!
Whoooo, whoooo, help me, I´m as good as dead."
Yugo grabbed his parasol and switched into battle
stance. "Pah!"
"You couldn´t
even kill a _rat_ with that stick," Jay returned the
taunt.
"STICK!?!" Small flames
of red Qi ran along Yugo - his battle aura built
itself up. "Why you... I´ll give you stick!
Take this!!" The extraterrestrian charged forward,
and with a channel of his Qi, set his umbrella on
fire.
"UMBRELLA FIRE STRIKE!"
he yelled, and instantly propelled himself for- and
upward while jerking up his parasol weapon.
Jay simply dodged
sideways and let Yugo jump into thin air. "What?" He
held out a hand and looked skywards. "It´s not
raining! Why did you take out the stick?"
"Hooo...hooo..." Yugo
struggled to keep himself under control. "This
sacrilege screams to be cleansed with blood... your
blood, half-japsic sissie!"
Jay looked up, piku-ed
twice, and sweatdropped. "Err... What didya say? I
wasn´t paying attention..."
That was it. When he
had recovered from his facfault, Yugo´s battle
aura burst into a bright red flame. "You will pay for
this! Face me and fight like the man you
aren´t!"
Jay nodded. "Hai, Im
always ready for a fight!" He grabbed the hilt of his
katana but didn´t draw it - yet. "Ikuzo!"
"HIYAAAAAAA!!!!!" Yugo
broke into a sprinting start with his umbrella
"drawn".
The thoughts Jay had in
these seconds ran along the lines of: 'Um.....
Lessee... What should I do..? I could slash him
downwards... But that stupid umbrella is blocking his
chest... Or I could... *Sigh* Decisions,
decisions....' He decided to simply jump backwards
and dodge Yugo´s attacks until he could decide
what to do. Thus Yugo´s attacks only hit air,
making sounds like *SLASH*, *WHOOSH*, *ZACK*, *ZIP*,
and not to mention, *WHIZZ*.
"Stop-- stop dodging,
you dumb earthling and-- and face me like a real
fighter!" Yugo panted.
Jay didn´t listen
to his fellow seito and just continued to jump; then
suddenly, his face brightened. He grabbed the katana
with both his hands and smashed it into Yugo's head -
still in the scabbard of course. "That better?" he
asked with a grin.
"Ouch!" Yugo jumped
back. "You! YOU!! Oooh, if I ever get my hands on
you...!"
"You´ll _what_?"
Jay asked, still grinning.
Yugo stroke his chin in
thought. "I dunno. Probably disembowl you or somming
like that."
"Sensei wouldn´t
like that..." Jay mentioned.
"Hmmm..." Yugo pondered
this. "No he won´t," he then said with an Evil
Grin, "But I will enjoy every second of it."
Jay just reached out
and twacked Yugo for that.
"Hey! Smashing me with
your scabbard, okay, but no twacking!" Yugo said with
disgust.
Jay cocked an eyebrow.
"Why not?"
"´Cause if you
do, I´ll get _really_ mad."
"Oh, sorry..." Jay took
his katana again and whammed his opponent with the
scabbard instead.
Yugo nodded.
"That´s better. But remember: no more
twacking!" Yugo stopped and pikued. "Erh... matte
yo... didn´t you just hit me on the head hard
with that scabbard of yours?"
"Yep!" Jay grinned.
"Aha. Good." Yugo
nodded, and said, "Which reminds me. Ouch!" Then he
changed back to battle stance once more. "Ah,
that´s better," he said with relief. "Now
let´s get back to business. IYAAAAAAAA!!!"
Suddenly, an angry
voice yelled, "STOP YOU FOOLS!" Their Sensei
appeared, his bamboo walking/thrashing stick in his
hand.
"S-s-sensei!?" Yugo
automatically stopped his assault and changed his
facial expression from 'Angry' to 'Normal'. "He
started it! It was him!" he whined, pointing at Jay.
Sensei didn´t say anything and just glared at
the younger seito.
"No I wasn´t!"
Jay tried to defend himself. Sensei sighed and, for
justice´s sake, whammed the two of them.
"Ouch!" Yugo exclaimed,
rubbing his head.
"Itee..." Jay stated in
agreement.
"You two!" their Sensei
bellowed, "Clean the dojo! Now!"
"Yeah yeah..." Jay
replied and glared at Yugo. "mumble mumble baka
Yugo..."
"Yes Sensei," Yugo
said, and glared back. "grumble mumble I heard that
mumble grumble baka yourself grumble mumble..."
A glare from their
Sensei stopped them. The old man went into the house
nad came back with a mop in each hand, which he
handed to Jay and Yugo. The first sighed, took the
mop, and started cleaning. Suddenly, he got whammed
by his Sensei again.
"HEY!" Jay shouted,
"WHAT DID _I_ DO?!?"
"Yugo-kun told me you
started all this..." Sensei said with a glare from
under his bushy gray eyebrows.
"And you believe him?"
Jay whined.
Yugo just snickered.
"Heehee..." Then he, too, earned himself a solid
*WHAM*. "Ararara... what was that one for, Sensei?"
The old man just whammed him again. "Ouch!" Yugo
whined. Sensei wiggled his bamboo stick at the
Antareesian. "For telling me Jay started it."
"Weird old man..." Jay
said to himself, mopping the floor. Obviously he
hadn´t reckoned with his Sensei´s good
hearing, and got whammed yet again. "Okay, I deserved
that..." the half-japanese teenager admitted.
Several hours
later...
Yugo stretched and
groaned when his back made a crackling sound. "Argh,
my back!" he said to no-one in particuliar, since Jay
was laying on the floor with a X_X expression. Yugo
looked down at him, realized his chance and...
"Take this, fiend!"
...mopped Jay.
"AHG----" Jay managed
to mumble through the mop.
"Heeheeharrharr!!" Yugo
laughed his rear off, but a call from another room
interrupted him. "What are you two doing?"
"Er... nothing! Just
mopping!" Yugo answered with a snicker.
"Yeah, mopping..." Jay
got up and shot Yugo a hot glare.
"Heehee..." Yugo
laughed lowly. "That was for the 'stick'."
"Hai hai," Jay sighed.
"Ah, you admit you
deserved it! Hah, you earthlings are weak creatures."
Jay´s reply was
to burry the mop's stick in Yugo´s belly.
"Urgl...!" the
assaulted gurgled.
"And what planet are
_you_ from?" Jay growled.
"Why, from the
beautiful and far more advanced planet of Antarees of
course!" Yugo proclaimed. "Can´t you see my
antennas? Or my fangs?" He grinned widely, showing
off said teeth.
Jay just whammed him
thrice with the wooden mop.
"Uck! Ack! Irckl!" Yugo
coughed. "Araaaa, stop it alright?"
Jay said nothing. But
his eyes told everything.
"Today you won´t
suffer my wrath - I´ve got better things to
do." Yugo said, running his hand through his wild
hair.
"Like?"
Yugo began to drool.
"Three words: HOT BABES!!!"
"That´s two..."
Jay mumbled, but aloud he said, "Er... Where?"
"Anywhere! BABESSSSS!!
YESSS!!!" Yugo grinned and made the Victory sign.
"Got a date? If so,
with whom?" Jay asked curiously. "I want to know whom
I have to pity."
"Dates, pah, who needs
´em! Babes just fly on a guy like me!
I´ve got everything, muscles _and_ money!"
Jay looked at Yugo with
an eyebrow cocked. ". . . yeah, right."
Yugo silenced his enemy
with a glare, but decided not to punish him for
questioning his status as a playboy. Instead, he just
walked off in search of a victim. Jay watched him
vanish around the next corner, waited a few seconds,
and when he heard the shout "HENTAI!" and a loud
*WHAM!*, he tsk-ed and went to their room.
Sikaryan leaned
back in his chair. "Well, I think we made it without
any significant damage to reality this time." He
looked over to the figure on the other side of the
room, sitting in front of the other computer. "Ne
toutochan?"
"Hai Niichan!" RL-Jay
nodded. Then he sweatdropped and asked, "Is that good
or bad?"
Sikaryan made a puzzled
face and said, "I guess that´s... good,
isn´t it?"
RL-Jay didn´t
reply, so Sikaryan guessed he was right, and went off
in search of something to eat.
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